| 14 July 2009
We are just a few hours away from the first ever Mizzourah live-blog! Here's your chance to get some predictions out in the open. Final Score? Most touchdowns? Number of wheelbarrows it'll take to "escort" Big Head out of the Edward Jones Dome?We may laugh at you now, but when Chase Daniel runs back a punt return and does a back flip in the end zone, you'll be the one who receives the props. Bertflex's own The Good Face and HMW (above) will be your hosts tonight.
We'll be back in a little while to check in.
2:40 update...Let's catch up with some texts:
Shawn (12:49) St. Louis-the smell of football stings the nostrils.
Shawn (1:53) Wearing a Chase for Heisman shirt. An Illini fan told me I'm gonna need a Juice for Heisman in 8 weeks.
Big Head (2:22) Drinking since 9. Ordered some sandwich called Clinton's favorite and ordered another pitcher. Bowling Green and ECU winning fucks my pick ems. More drinks please.
Shawn (2:29) Illini fans started a bcs chant. My posse responded with a Rose Bowl chant.
It sounds like it's getting a little rowdy in downtown STL already. Luckily, I'm in the comforts of my home watching football and playing Guitar Hero. Great job by me taking advantage of the nice weather. -HMW
3:00 Update: Big Head is back in the old stomping grounds of Godfrey, IL at the Regal Beagle. They are heading to the dome in a little while with backpacks of booze for tailgating.
3:30 text update from Shawn: Team bus drove by. Friends and I pounded on a chain link fence cheering. Pinkel aka G Bone gave us a point and wave.
The Mizzourah presence is being felt already. I think the team is inspired! Change my prediction to 84-3 Tigers!! -HMW
4:25 update: here is our first photo of Big Head "reporting" live from downtown St. Louis. He said via picture mail "Backpack beer. 30s in 2 packs for tailgating. Metrolink meets its match."Wow, I predicted 19 beers total for BH today. He may be past that by the time I publish this post.
5:36 text from Big Head: Landing tailgating. Backpack is about gone. Pisser in site. Miss Head wasted.
6:45 text from Shawn: GOLD PANTS!
7:00 Alright, we're on. I've got a few pics received from Big Head, who is making his way from Skybox Lounge over to the Dome. Click on the pics for a better view.
Fat midget blocking d-bag.
You're old if you like Illannoy.
Got 99 problems but my size ain't one.
7:15 Let's catch up with a couple texts from the Shawn: (7:08) "Chase looks so good right now" -tito ruiz. (7:13) Chase practicing snaps...under center? J. Jackson lined up w/ first string.
7:20 Pic mail from Big Head.
7:25 Shawn declares Mizzou the winner of Battle of the Bands, already. He also says that Marching Mizzou was chosen to play the National Anthem.
7:29 Lou Holtz says Mizzou will win impressively. Thanks?
7:31 "This game gives you the steak and the sizzle" - said by Mark Jones (announcer). Next to him is Bob Davie. Is this really ESPN? Yeah, we got the shaft.
7:37 Kickoff to Cheat Code. And we're off...
7:42 Quick critique of the game presentation - it's definitely game one for the ESPN crew. Some bad camera work, and they are taking too long to get back from replays.
7:43 Mizzou on the five...and a run? TD Tigers (D. Washington). 7-0 MIZ.
7:46 Instant feedback from Shawn: Machinelike opening drive.
7:46.5 And Big Head chimes in: All over. Endzone seats where Mizzou scored for us.
7:53 Nice job by the D. Only one first down allowed. Juice (that was a good one) and Co. ran almost every play. We'll see how long that lasts.
7:57 TGF says "I like when the Field Judge and the Umpire stand next to each other, cuz their jerseys say FU." I challenge you to get better analysis than that.
8:02 Holy Crap, is Juice this jacked up for the game, or really bad? He's overthrown everyone.
8:04 text from Shawn confirms it: Player of the game so far for Mizzou = Juice Williams.
8:10 Chase took off his helmet, exposing his Color Me Badd facial hair. Maybe Big Head will have to bring back The Mirror.8:11 Bob Davie (white, obviously) made a reference to Mark Jones (black guy) liking chicken wings! So offensive. If he says anything about watermelon, I'm calling the FCC.
8:13 Nice TD by the Illini. Juice Williams' demise has been greatly over-exaggerated by this site, and we'd like to retract our statements. Until next drive.
8:19 Maybe I haven't watched enough College Football on ESPN, but Bob Davie is worthless. Side note - everyone in this game is 220 pounds. He's mentioned at least 6 or 7 guys being 220 pounds. For the record, I'm 225 and TGF is 220. There you go.
8:26 Another stalled drive, but at least got a field goal out of it. Nice 50 yarder. 10-6 MIZ, even though they're playing like poop.
8:28 Via text, Shawn is slightly concerned: Chase looking a little too Juicelike.
8:35 Tigers have the ball again. Big Head chimes in: "Beer nachos and a mizzou score right here." Glad to see BH is focused. Did he forget to put a comma in there, or is he really ordering beer nachos? If beer nachos exist, sign me up.
8:41 There goes the momentum; Chase throws a TD right to Derek Walker. Too bad he plays for the wrong team. Uh oh.
8:44 TGF (in reference to Maclin) "He's gonna run this back, in case you didn't know."
8:45 He did! Wow, great call by TGF. And he walked out of the room. Goodnight TGF. While panning the crowd, they showed one guy holding two 24 oz. beers in his left hand, high fiving with the right hand.
8:48 text from Shawn: Cheat Code officially turned on.
8:49 Mark Jones (once again, the random announcer) in reference to Maclin: "He's got a piece of a dead guy inside him..." Jones may have finished that sentence, but I quit listening to bash my head against the wall.
8:56 I'm trying to decide on a pizza order and Washington runs in a sick touchdown! He broke at least 38 tackles there. 24-13 MIZ. And I ganked a photo from Yahoo! That's why I'm Hazelwood's Most Wanted, I steal things.9:06 Because I hate Bob Davie, one more thing - he draws shitty circles on the telestrator. Kind of looks like my drawing of a sun back in 4th grade.
9:13 TD Coffman! This is escalating quickly. 31-13 MIZ. Not even halftime yet, step it up ILLside.
9:16 Halftime. So far, so good. No matter what the final is, this'll be the most exciting game at the EJ Dome all season.
9:20 Shawn predicts via text: We're now under Eddie McGee watch until 11pm
9:25 I put in the pizza order finally. Lady Good Face points out that I've been deciding on pizza for over a half hour. Like all arguments, I said "nuh uh," and she pointed out that according to this live-blog...yes I have. Damn these time stamps.
9:28 Two texts 1) Shawn: Illini marching band is now performing "if i had a million dollars" by Barenaked Ladies. 2) Big Head: ILL-GAY.
How hammered do you guys think BH is? 150% hammered? 200%?
9:39 All right, peeps. HMW went to get some health food, so I'm in charge for awhile. Mainly I just want some Honey Smacks (formerly Sugar Smacks). -- TGF
9:41 Unnecessarily obscure Indiana Jones reference: "In Latin, Juice starts with an 'i.'" -- TGF
9:48 I'm getting guff from Mrs. Good Face and the Mad Librarian. Luckily, they're women, so I don't have to listen to them. -- TGF
9:50 Don't know if HMW has mentioned this, but Bob Davies' telestration is shakier than Michael J. Fox's calligraphy. -- TGF
9:52 HMW just back from Imo's, where he parked in handicapped parking to pick up his pizza. That's how he rolls. Plus, TGF is busy with his Honey Smacks, so I've stolen the laptop. Oh, and the score is 31-20. --ML
10:03 Sorry for the break in the action, another Tiger TD. Score is 38-20.
10:15 Tigers scored again, so did the Illini: 45-28 MIZ. I'm trying to eat my big ass pizza and look at all this action. Also, check out TGF's cat wanting some of my bacon and sausage pizza. Smart kitty.10:28 Crazy WFO touchdown for ILL. Horrible coverage. Sorry guys, but those wide f'n open touchdowns are always fun to watch. All of a sudden we've got a game, 45-35.
10:29 Mark Jones is full of snappy lines ("That was room-service, put a mint on your pillow right there" - in reference to the easy TD for Illinois). I hope he's got some left on his script for the rest of the game.
10:37 text from Shawn: Officially VERY nervous.
Here at the Mizzourah St. Charles office, we're nervous too. But hey, this happened last year right? Ain't no thing baby.
10:39 Pick by Sean Witherspoon. That's the first time I've heard his name all night. Though the only times we've heard the MIZ defense mentioned was for things like "____ just got burned" or "bad coverage by ____"
10:47 Maclin is down on the field. Holy crap, the world may be coming to an end.
10:48 We can neither confirm nor deny that Big Head is on the field kissing Maclin's leg right now.
10:53 Uh oh, bad news - Maclin's going back to the locker room w/ a left ankle injury.
11:00 We've become distracted after the Cheat Code injury, watching the Samuel L. Jackson Beer video on youtube, and looking up crap on ebay. You have to give us credit for staying focused on football for four hours, come on.
11:03 Another mention of Sean Witherspoon. Ho hum, he ripped the ball away from the ILL wideout and turned it into 6. Game Over. 52-35.
11:07 X-rays negative. Whew. And now we get some good closeups of the "M" in Cheat Code's hair.
11:13 Text from Big Head regarding Maclin: Wow, October we need him. Maybe my hangover will be done by then. Victory Whiskey.
11:15 ILL WR Chris Duvant injured himself in the end zone, then two trainers came out and had him spread eagle, massaging his legs. Pretty gross, but TGF and the girls were turned on. I tried taking a picture; I failed, sorry. If you want pics of dudes' crotches, go somewhere else.
11:17 Meaningless TD to end the game, 52-42 final. Time to get crunk(er). Oh, by the way, remember when I picked the Tigers to win by 10? Remember that guys?
11:19 South Park's on! What were we doing wasting time watching stupid football all this time?
11:30 That's it for the party. Now time for...more partying. Hopefully a team of friendly Tiger fans somehow drag Big Head from the middle of the street and onto a sidewalk around 3 am.
One down. Next game vs. SEMO next week. Maybe they'll let me play instead of Maclin for that game?
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