Written by Matt | 24 November 2007

It's Armegeddon. Not the crappy Michael Bay movie, but what is happening inside Camerohead today. Things will get ugly outside and even uglier on the inside.

KU fans really are dumbasses. When I want to know the durability of an aluminum doublewide or a question about the Fujita scale of when tornados tear through a state that nobody cares about other than when they watch Wizard of Oz, I'll ask someone from Kansas. I have no need to know your football IQ. I imagine your IQ is similar to your tooth count; low.

When we beat your asses on Saturday, you'll turn your rosacea cheeks and toothless grins towards basketball season. That is, until Arizona beats you on Sunday in basketball too. Man, tough weekend. Hopefully you saved that last Natty Light and some meth. Whatever gets you through the night until you have to wake up and go to work in Missouri. But I'm going off the premise that you have a job, so I may be wrong on that.

See, we two Heisman candidates to your Keebler Elf quarterback. In the 42-17 beatdown we put on you last year, we didn't even have Jeremy Maclin. He's only one of the leaders in All-purpose yardage as a Freshman. Your cornerback Aquib Talib will have a great view of Maclin as J-Mac pulls away and scores a two touchdowns on him. He could be in New York for the Heisman presentation, but your 2007 Heisman winner also plays for us. Chase Daniel beating the Jayhawks like Mike Tyson used to hit Robin Givens.

I know Jayhawks fans follow basketball, but you might also notice that we have great tight ends. No, I'm not talking about your homos checking out your brother Cletus' ass. I'm talking about Martin Rucker and Chase Coffman. These two will have HUGE days on your defense. They average out to be 6'6" and 250lbs, perfect for a power forward, right?

If the Jayhawks actually played someone other than Olathe Women's School, they would be used to the feeling of losing that they will have tonight. See, while Gary Pinkel is thinking of piling on another touchdown on you retards and becoming the #1 team in the nation, Mangino is thinking Arbys. Good thing it's a short ride back to Lawrence. It's tough keeping Mangino on the back of that flatbed for the entire trip. It's got to be a bitch paying union workers OT to throw him on, strap him to the flatbed, and get him home.

I know it's going to be tough to see your Jayhawks lose to Mizzou 49-35, but you can take solace in the fact that you had most of the country duped for 12 weeks. You'll never have a season like you've had in 2007 again. Oh, and Missouri will actually be better next year, so you're losing to the Big 12 North champs of the next few years, so it's not like you're losing to Nebraska or anything. So take your Calvin pissing stickers and Trans Ams are roll on back over to the state that is best known for being unknown.

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