| 26 March 2009
About eight weeks ago, an email hit the Mizzourah inbox from Pressbox Publicity, a firm hired by CBS' Seth Davis and his book publisher to promote Davis' new book "WHEN MARCH WENT MAD: The Game That Transformed Basketball", a manifesto on the Magic/Bird March that was insane. Pressbox asked us if we'd like a copy of the book as well as to shoot Seth some questions, something that we were definitely taking him up on, after all, Seth has come across shitty to Tiger fans, and well, I never had a problem with his work on CBS.At the time, the Tigers were playing ok basketball, and we wanted to get Seth's thoughts on how the Tigers could do in March, as well as some softballs about the book and Mizzou. Then...crickets. And a few more emails from us and Pressbox going back and forth, but never an email with Seth's answers.
Instead of letting this goldmine of an opportunity to interview Seth Davis go to waste, the following is what would have happened had Seth Davis actually taken us up on the interview.
What was the inspiration for the book?Just shit man. (slowly drinks whiskey)
What was the most surprising thing you learned when researching for it?
You really don't care do you? I put some sheets of paper between some cardboard. I just needed something to keep my couch from leaning to the back right. I get Billy Packer pussy now. Those girls can't come back to some whack pad.
If the Bird/Magic crazy March is the best of all-time, which one is 2nd?
Listen, are you just going to just ask these panzee shit questions, or you got some Tiger questions?
What do you make of the Tigers' recent success? Are they a Final Four conten...
I'll stop you right there. I fucking hate Missouri. Yep, everyone knows it. I fucking hate that state. It's shaped like Iowa with a dick. (Long drink and grimace) I hope a hurricane hits Missouri.
You realize that's impossible right? A hurricane?
Fuck you. You bloggers think you know everything. You know what happens to people that think they know everything?
What's that?
Ha! Look at Clark Kellogg! Fuck 'em.
What was it about Norm Stewart that made him so revered by Tiger fans?
Norm? You talking about that old guy that Jim Nantz took in the CBS death pool? Great pick if you ask me.
Little harsh isn't it? Norm had a bit of a health scare a little while back.
(Long drink) Fuck...'em.
What's the most memorable thing you've witnessed at Mizzou Arena/Hearnes Center?
I wouldn't step foot in either, but man, did I bang some chick named Paige last night. Here, smell this (sticks finger out)
Arghh, no
Yeah man. Whatever happened to that Paige broad?
No clue. Just wondering, you picked Cornell to beat Mizzou. Why?
Have you not paid attention to my career? Again, I hate Missouri. I once wrestled a live bengal tiger and beat it's ass. That gets me Packer pussy too. I figured a bunch of white guys could do the same thing.
Memphis-Mizzou. Final score?
John Calipari will suit up the student fucking managers and they will beat Mizzou by 150. Yeah, I said it. Whatever. (falls asleep)
Seth Davis' new book, "When March Went Mad", is available now at all retailers and Amazon.
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