Written by Matt
| 14 July 2009
Like I said last night, I've been searching for things about the Illini that make my blood start to boil. That involves sifting through a lot of anti-Illini material. My favorite blurb comes to us via my buddy Owens (who happens to have grown up in Illinois before crossing the boarder and moving to God's Country) who found this little gem on Tigerboard. I thought I'd pass it along to all of my loyal readers in case any of you are stuck listening to any uppity Illini fans at home, in the office, or wherever else those pesky Illinois fans take up residence in your lives:
"Dear Illinois fans,
We have kicked your asses 3 straight times in this St. Louis series. You have a poor man's Brad Smith at Quarterback, only slower and less accurate, and a poor man's Jeremy Maclin at Wide Receiver. You are more than a touchdown underdogs for a reason. Your team isn't very good. I don't give a crap what kind of analysis you want to throw at us. Any analysis that doesn't end up with Illinois with somewhere around a 20-25% chance of winning is messed up. The fact that you backed into the Rose Bowl is a joke. And the ass pounding you took from USC just proved it. You were Kansas with a better upset and a worse W-L record. We don't give a crap what your recruiting rankings are. The only reason why the game was anywhere near close last year was because we played a soft defense after we got up big. Ole Miss was able to pile up yardage after we got up big on those guys too. A hail mary attempt for the win isn't almost beating us. And you won't get that close this year. Go right ahead and talk it up. We bought a bunch of your tickets off your website. There shouldn't be too many of you at the dome to even worry about it.
Your girls are loose and ugly. Your team colors clash. Your mascot is racist. Your mothers smoke menthol cigs. You are smarter than beakers, but not by much.
Your team sucks, your analysis sucks, your conference sucks, the BCS sucks, and you suck."
I couldn't have said it better. Mizzou Rah.
Like I said last night, I've been searching for things about the Illini that make my blood start to boil. That involves sifting through a lot of anti-Illini material. My favorite blurb comes to us via my buddy Owens (who happens to have grown up in Illinois before crossing the boarder and moving to God's Country) who found this little gem on Tigerboard. I thought I'd pass it along to all of my loyal readers in case any of you are stuck listening to any uppity Illini fans at home, in the office, or wherever else those pesky Illinois fans take up residence in your lives:
