Written by Matt | 14 July 2009

So senior day has come and gone. Just like my dad, Sleezy Sr., shitting his pants in the form of “Wilson”,
it was amazing. Sure Mizzou didn’t have the best game in the world, but we did win by quite a bit. K-State is garbage. There was never any doubt that Mizzou would win, it was just a matter of by how much. K-State is a lot like one of my ex-girlfriends; fun to take to a bar and sometime will surprise and please you, but when it’s over you wake up and swear that you will never drink again…because alcohol is a three-legged bitch. Now it’s time to hit the road and head up to Ames. The land of corn and corn. There is not much to do there other than tell corn jokes, like such:

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn. The bartender says "We have no corn, get out of here." So the duck leaves. The next day he comes back and asks for corn again, and the bartender says "I told you, we don't have any corn! Get out!" So the duck leaves. The next day he goes in again and asks for corn, and the bartender says, "For the last time, we don't have corn! If you ever come back, I'm going to nail those webbed feet of yours to the floor!" So the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes and asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender says, "No, of course not. Why would a bar have nails?" The duck then says, "Good. Then can I have some
corn?"

So on that note, welcome to another Good, Bad and Sleezy

Good: We are playing Iowa State. I have a better chance of hooking up with a supermodel than Iowa State does of winning this game. Mizzou has this game then a week off before we destroy Kansas. So expect Mizzou to light up the score. Maclin should have 500 yards and 5 TDs...by the time the first quarter is over. As seen in the last game, the only thing faster that Maclin is me in bed. Just like Maclin, I was built for speed. (Side Note: If there are any supermodels who read Mizzourah, and I am sure they do, I like to play sports, Rockband, and is hairy like animal, you know how to reach me. At my big halloween bash, in the middle between Ryu and Pimp Jesus)

Bad: We're playing a bad team and have very little chance to move up in the rankings. Beating Iowa State is like knocking out a few knuckle children. Sure, it’s fun for a hot minute but when it’s over all you have left is a mess and are in the same place as you were before…the bathroom of a Town and Country.

Sleezy: One good part about Ames, besides the corn, is they do have some hot chicks up there. They are the girls who could not go to Iowa because there daddies don’t make 6 figures. These are the girls that are kick ass to party with and will show you how to have a good time. I have nothing bad to say about Iowa State chicks. You stay classy Ames….
From Ames: Actress Evangeline Lilly (Kate Austen on Lost)

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