| 30 September 2007
tra·di·tion - (Function: noun): an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (as a religious practice or a social custom)
So really, it’s not a tradition at all. Just like an 8th grade girl, for Husker fans it’s huge to speculate who is going to be wearing what colored shirt after class. Maybe they determine it after drooling to Rivals.com? Maybe they determine it after salivating over Phil Steele and Tom Lemming’s reports made in May? I just don’t understand why. I don’t understand why the lead story in the sports last week was a washed up player that hasn’t contributed to the Huskers in nearly two years…gasp…took off his blackshirt at practice! I know, sounds gay. Well, it is. Even gayer? The stories of people losing their practice jersey as the lead story in Friday’s Omaha World Herald. One included a player from the '91 squad that got yelled at and told to *sniff sniff* take off his blackshirt and give it to another player. A 280lb man crying like a girl that got dumped at prom. Priceless.
In fact, the Blackskirts (as they should better be known as) are as shitty as they come. They
love to look like absolute idiots by doing the whole X deal with their arms (see right). Maybe that's the whole "action" part of the definition of tradition? Nothing screams loser like crossing your arms. Even the loser cornholer fans do it.“But Big Head, how bad can their defense be? It’s tradition, right? Nobody nicknames a crappy part of the team, right?” you ask yourself. Again, Husker fans live stooped in history. They still think it’s 1995 and Lawrence Phillips won’t hit them with his car, Zach Wiegert won’t be an asshole, and Tommy Fraizer won’t have bloodclots. Living off history so much so that Tom Osbourne would run for governor of the state (’06) before reality kicks in and he got his ass handed to him.
I’ll save Husker fans the pain of showing what the Blackskirts have done over the Callahan era, but I will show you so far this season:
Nevada: 185 Total yards (nice job, they are 2-2. Close at the half though)
Wake Forest: 376 total; 236 rushing, 140 passing (Wake had their 3rd string QB in and still won by ONE POINT!!)
USC: 457 Total yards; 313 rushing, 144 passing (Beatdown)
Ball State: 610 Total yards; 188 rushing, 422 passing (Won with a missed FG as time expired)
Iowa State: 415 Total yards; 134 rushing, 281 passing (ISU has one win, two losses to MAC teams and one to a I-AA. Still outgained and outplayed Nebraska)
Hmm, one good half of football all season (2nd half against Nevada)? Damn near getting rolled at home by Ball State and Big XII pump Iowa State? I've never claimed to be a prophet, just a Big XII genie once a week, but when you take Mizzou's explosive offense and put it against Nebraska's paperbag defense, things will get ugly and early.
Let the Victory Whiskey flow and the Blackshirts cry when they lose their practice jersey.
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