| 29 September 2007
Let me give you a little background on these idiots from Nebraska. My very first Husker game happened to be last year against Kansas. My Dad remembers this as his very first college football game. Husker fans fondly remember this one as “Scewing the Pooch Against a Bad Team". Up by 21 early, the Jayhawks (who I also hate) passed up and down the field on the vaunted Blackskirts…err ‘Blackshirts’ (the nickname these idiots have for their practice jerseys on defense. More on that in another post). A team of wounded vets at the VA would have played better D that day. Unfortunately, the Huskers ended up winning in OT against a team that missed out on a bowl. The Big Red circle jerk to Tommie Frazier was in full effect after the win.On the way back to my apartment, my Dad posed a very thoughtful question 24 hours in to his three days in Nebraska; “Are these people really that retarded?” I answered with a simple yes, and was promptly backed up with the callers on Matt Perrault’s post game show. Matt basically stated the obvious; The Huskers should have lost. I say 'obvious' thinking anyone with half a brain would realize that. Husker fans need to be studied by science because they seem to be able to function and have vital signs with only a handful of brain cells. “The Huskers will finish the conference undefeated!”, “We’ll still get to the BCS Title”, “I feel sorry for Texas cause we’re about to smoke em”. I was wondering what they were smoking and where I could get my hands on some of that, but instead I got a “What the hell?” from Dad, which summed it up perfectly.
**Side note to the game: Sure, Dad enjoyed the eye candy. There are actually some
women in Nebraska without a meth problem, STDs, babies, and have all their teeth, but they are few and far between. Some of them even talked to Dad, which was like watching 'Major League II' when Tom Berenger has to play. You know he's handicapped going in but he is about to give it his best and he doesn't want anyone to know he's rusty, and you know it's going to end in disaster. It makes you wonder what kind of tricks he had back in the day to dupe my mom into marrying him (and to stay married) when you see women socialize with him. I know there were some kick ass drugs back in the day, so maybe he didn't need mad skills.**The best part of his trip came as my dad was leaving. He left his Husker T-shirt that he bought at Walmart (he was trying to fit in with the typical Nebraskan) at my apartment and figured I would find a use for it (gave it to one of the many homeless that reside in Omaha on Monday after the game. Then he gave it away.). See, my dad likes college football and is mostly an Illini fan. He had heard the rumors of ‘The Classiest Fans in Sports’. He realized that was a crock after seeing the KU kid on the turf and the Husker fans starting the wave and also watching a KU fan get full cups and hot dogs thrown at them from the upper deck when the Jayhawks started to comeback. At that point, my Dad figured out what I knew all along; for the most part Husker fans are pieces of crap.
So don't buy into the Husker history, because that's all it is; history. You'll run into Husker fans and they'll talk about National Championships from back in the 80's and early 90's, but these are the people that still wear their 'Back-to-Back Titles' and 'No Fear' Nebraska shirts, and have a Calvin pissing sticker on their 1984 Trans Am that they are working on so it wiill talk like Kit from Nightrider. Basically your crazy friend you lost contact with in high school after he thinks everything is a conspiracy, is active in a militia, and now lives in a trailer home with a hitch and uses asbestos as a pillow is smarter than a Husker fan. Do yourself a favor and hop on to Huskerpedia.com and just read the posts. You'll see that the rage inside of me is fueled by the idiots that surround me.Get ready for a great week.
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
