Written by Matt | 14 July 2009

We are officially into Bowl Season. Sure, 90% of the games are similar Sleezy's love life and never live up to the hype but like New Year's in a homeless shelter, theres always a sliver of hope that someone will come through.

Holiday Bowl (12/27)- Texas 31 Arizona State 17
If you said Texas would be the first team to play in a bowl out of the B12, go pick yourself a prize out of the treasure chest. Texas absolutely shit the bed for most of the season, being as mediocre as my turkey sandwiches are in mid-December. Arizona State was as overrated as Topanga from Boy Meets World, but somehow survived the Pac-10. The Holiday Bowl is usually a pretty good one, but Texas pulls it out in the 2nd half.

Alamo Bowl (12/29)- Penn State 35 ATM 18
Dennis Franchione was a tool. That, sir, was fact. He's gone, and yeah, I have Joe Pa in a fairly successful Death Pool that lasts until January 1, which means he may be in trouble. If ATM was to have a chance, they need to lather the ball in Hooter's Buffalo Wing sauce because Jovorskie Lane would be all over it and not giving it up. ATM loses this one ugly...in their own state.

Independence Bowl (12/30)- Colorado 24 Bama 21
Ok, this one is the cripple fight of the pre-NY Day bowls for the B12. Colorado is going to be good in '08 and '09. Too bad it's still '07 for them. Again, watch the Fightin' Hawkins in '08. It's not intramurals!!! Bama has played as akward as that high school kid that played D-line without any legs. Even then, he would be an upgrade. I'll go Buffs in this girl fight.

Insight Bowl (12/31)- OSU 56 Indiana 38
Both of these teams have a worse defense than a rufied college girl. If Oklahoma State played with any heart, they would have won the B12 South. Good thing they're the Tin Man, eh? Indiana has as much experience in going bowling as I do in aerospace engineering; none. True, they have the whole "Our coach died" thing going for them, but really, who knew Indiana still played football? Plus, Mike Gundy is gotta be closer to 41 now, so watch out!

Cotton Bowl (1/1)- Mizzou 48 Arkansas 32
The thought of having to stop Felix Jones and Darren McFadden gives me nightmares, but the fact that Casey Dick is their QB brings a smile to my bound to be drunken face. Mizzou's defense needs to be like when you played Tecmo Bowl against the Raiders; play against the run and pray they try to pass with a gimp at QB. The Razorbacks went sans Houston Nutt, so that can't be good.

Gator Bowl (1/1)- Virginia 28 Tech 14
Yes, this is the shitty game that you pass through to watch the commercials of the other games. Tech comes in after blasting a couple decent teams, but laying down and getting kicked like a blind dog. Virginia overacheived all year and has one of the best pass rushing D-Ends around in Chris Long. Good thing Tech doesn't pass at all...

Fiesta Bowl (1/2)- Oklahoma 42 WVU 28
I wish I could say this is going to live up to being half of what last year's Boise State/OU game was, but it won't. Rich Rodriguez kept the back of his left hand strong and gave WVU a bloody nose as he grabbed his purse and left. If RR was still around, I'd go WVU in a heartbeat. It's been too late for WVU to recover and Bob Stoops likes to pour salt in an infected wound.

Orange Bowl (1/3)- Virginia Tech 48 kU 10
For once this year, a shootout is going to go in VT's favor (too soon?). VT is only the second good team kU's faced all year, and the first time they got hammered like my aunt on a float trip. Strange fact about the Orange Bowl; this is the first time that a coach as looked like the mascot that reps the bowl.

There you go. Don't get mad when you open your last Christmas gift and realize that your great aunt gave you another Barbie for the 20th straight year. Take it as a hint you queen. Also, if you're going to be in Dallas for the Cotton Bowl, drop us here at Mizzourah an email at bullyforoldmizzou@gmail.com. Sleezy is going and I'm contemplating (see: weather) on driving from Omaha to the Big D. Beers and an official Mizzourah tailgate may be in order.

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