| 02 September 2009
Has it really been almost 10 months since the genie took a look into the future? Lots has changed; Mizzourah 2.0 launched, True Son is finally potty trained, and Hat may have actually shaved (debatable). It is now that time. Where's my Magic 8-ball? Let's do this...
North Dakota State 27 Iowa State 21
Wow, let's get this started with a bang! Even a coaching change can't help the Clones this year. Paul Rhoads does have the blackest white guy name this side of Reggie Willits, but other than that coolness, not much else is going on with this Gene Chizik of a wreck team. Let's be honest- Chizik totally effed Ames. I feel sorry for Clones fans, but for the house of horrors that Ames has been for Mizzou over the years, I can't really root for your team. NDSU is a damn good FCS team, and we've already seen how this works out. NDSU beat Minnesota a couple years back, and they won't be intimidated. Don't worry ISU, you won't finish last in the B12N this year.
Oklahoma State 35 Georgia 17
In what could be the game of the week, both teams are ranked in the top 15, yet have a truckload of something to prove. Okie Light has to prove they aren't a fluke. Gawwwgia has to prove that losing Stafford and Knowshon wasn't a big deal. Personally, I think Georgia is one of the more overrated teams, which means they'll win the SEC. I also think the Pokes have the best returning core of skill position players in the B12 with Zac Robinson, Dez Bryant, and Kendall Hunter. Stevie Wonder could coach these guys to a win. I just wonder what the gay factor will be with the Poke's entrance song.
Baylor 28 Wake Forest 24
Wake is favored to beat the Bears, and Riley Skinner has to be pulling a retirement check from the Pissed Off Church Leaders already, right? Seems like the guy's been there forever. With that said, Robert Griffin can't get out of Waco soon enough. He scares yesterday's Taco Bell out of me. Probably one of the top five athletes in all of college football. The look on his face when the Bears lost to UConn last year was the turnaround moment in that program's history. Nobody cared about Bears football until RGIII hit the scene, and RGIII is the single turnaround player. My mancrush on Art Briles tells me an upset is brewing in tobacco road.
Texas 54 Louisiana-Monroe 10
Louisiana-Monroe should already have FEMA's number on speed-dial. They'll need it when Texas get's done with this destruction.
Oklahoma 35 BYU 24
It's pretty sweet that some B12 teams actually schedule real opponents. BYU has a solid team, and a shot at BCS'ing if they can get past the Sooners.It's a shame that BYU will have to sit in Utah with no hopes of going BCS'ing after the Sooner's win a close one. Think OU is going to lose to a non-BCS team at home? Nope.
Nebraska 42 Florida Atlantic 14
Husker fans will claim 'Order Restored' and their shit talking will reach epic proportions over the next couple of weeks, especially if VTech or Mizzou lose in their opening games. Nubs won't win pretty. They looked horrible last year against San Jose State, Ball State in '07, and even Louisiana Tech (1st half) in '06. The point is Nebraska isn't a really good team, and they find a way to struggle at home against non-BCS opponents at least once a year. FAU went bowling last year, but dammit, they are still a Sun Belt team.
Kansas 56 Northern Colorado 7
Northern Colorado football is more well-known for having a punter stab another punter to get the starting gig. Todd Reesing and Dezmon Briscoe will be sharp, and we'll see how dull their OL and LBs are, but it's still a bad squad they're going against. I'd watch for Briscoe to cut through the Northern Colorado secondary for at least 150yds.
Texas A&M 28 New Mexico 10
New Mexico? DO NOT WANT. Glad this is ATM we're talking about playing the Lobos. I'm a fan of what the Sherminator is doing in College Station, and I don't know how he doesn't put it all together this year. The main problem for Sherman is he is over thinking things. He wanted another option at QB...so he takes his #1 receiver off the field to backup the starting QB? Huh? I still believe that Texas A&M have the 4th most talent in the B12S, but I'm not sure how this team will finish. Either way, ATM should win this, but I wouldn't be totally surprised if they pissed down themselves. I may have contradicted myself 8-10x in this ATM preview. FML.
Texas Tech 56 North Dakota 3
Gewww! Taylor Potts and his ginger kid beard could start off his possible Heisman campaign against the Fightin' Sioux, which are better known for hockey. Potts will either be in NY for the Heisman or the new coverboy for Brawny paper towels. This game though, not even close. If they haven't switched by halftime, it's time to drink yourself into bolvian.
Kansas State 31 Massachusetts 17
[in best Jim Ross voice]Oh mah gawwwwd! The old man is back! He is back!![end Jim Ross voice]. The Mildcats just figured out that Carson Coffman is their starting QB, something everyone else in-conference already knew. I like Coffman, and I like Brandon Banks. I don't like Bill Snyder band-aiding the program for a year before riding off to Bridge games and giving his grandkids $5 for their birthday/Christmas/Easter/graduation or just coming to see him. UMass is a really good FCS squad. There is no way KSU would lose to an FCS squad, right? Well, I'll take K-State for B12N pride, but it wouldn't totally surprise me if the Minutemen lasted 60.
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